FOR THOSE OF US WHO REMEMBER .............
Hollywood Squares:
These great questions and answers are from the days when '
Hollywood Squares' game show responses were spontaneous,
not scripted, as they are now. Peter Marshall was the host
asking the questions, of course..
Q.. Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat?
A. Paul Lynde: Loneliness!
(The audience laughed so long and so hard it took up
almost 15 minutes of the show!)
Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water
long enough.
Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how
high should you be
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do
it.
Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you
probably a man or a woman?
A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.
Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a
party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to
come out and ask him if he's married?
A.. Rose Marie: No wait until morning.
Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get
older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency..
Q. What are 'Do It,' 'I Can Help,' and 'I Can't Get
Enough'?
A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the
next apartment.
Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less
with your hands while talking?
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question
Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget.
Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.
Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.
Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at
nudist camps. One is politics, what is the other?
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.
Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.
Q.. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail.
What will a goose do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?
Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give
birth to?
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of
the dark.
Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with
getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.
Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish
on his head, what was he trying to do?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.
Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your
wife or your elephant?
A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?
Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its
sex?
A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to
him
Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes
in them and has actually seen them on at least two
occasions. What are they?
A. Charley Weaver: His feet.
Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should
never do in bed?
A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh
WE DON'T STOP LAUGHING BECAUSE WE GROW OLD, WE GROW OLD
BECAUSE WE STOP LAUGHING! :