Friday, June 3, 2011

Too Funny!!!

Hollywood  Squares:
These great questions and answers are from the days when ' 
Hollywood Squares' game show responses were spontaneous,
not scripted,  as they are now. Peter Marshall was the host
asking the questions, of  course..
Q.. Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat?
A.  Paul Lynde: Loneliness!
(The audience laughed so long and so hard it took up 
almost 15 minutes of the show!)
Q. Do female frogs croak?
A.  Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water
long enough. 
Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how
high  should you be
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do 
Q. You've been  having trouble going to sleep. Are you
probably a man or a woman?
A. Don  Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.
Q. According to  Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a
party and you think that he is  attractive, is it okay to
come out and ask him if he's married?
A.. Rose  Marie: No wait until morning.
Q. Which of your five senses tends to  diminish as you get
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.. 
Q. What are 'Do It,' 'I Can Help,' and 'I Can't Get 
A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the 
next apartment.
Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or  less
with your hands while talking?
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more  growing old question
Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget. 
Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A. Paul Lynde:  Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.
Q.  In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy. 
Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at
nudist  camps. One is politics, what is the other?
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures. 
Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A. Marty Allen: Only after  lights out.
Q.. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. 
What will a goose do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?
Q. If you  were pregnant for two years, what would you give
birth to?
A. Paul Lynde:  Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of
the dark.
Q. According  to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with
getting into the habit of  kissing a lot of people?
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army. 
Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish
on his  head, what was he trying to do?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth. 
Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your
wife or your  elephant?
A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?
Q. When a  couple have a baby, who is responsible for its
A. Charley Weaver:  I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to
Q. Jackie Gleason  recently revealed that he firmly believes
in them and has actually seen them  on at least two
occasions. What are they?
A. Charley Weaver: His feet. 
Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should
never do  in bed?
A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh

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